Printer Demon Aversion Service

A Full-Service Empire Ritual for those who refuse to bargain with household machinery.
(Print • Cut • Bless • Mail)

Don’t Want to Summon a Printer Demon?
Let The Empire Handle the Ritual. The Empire will perform the necessary ritual so you never have to negotiate with your home printer again.

The Printer Demon Avoidance Service

Where The Empire performs the full ceremonial handling of your decks.

Here is what you receive:

• High-quality printed versions of BOTH decks

(Exactly as intended—no misalignment, warped colors, or cursed margins.)

• Hand-cut and cleaned edges

Performed with unreasonable precision and quiet resentment.
The Underlord personally supervises the geometry.

• Empire-coded packaging

Your decks arrive as sanctioned artifacts, not loose PDF chaos.

• A protective mailer

Because your enlightenment should not be bent in transit.

• A blessing

A small, sarcastic, begrudging one—but still a blessing.

• A tiny extra

(We will not tell you what. The Empire likes mystery.)

No printer tantrums.
No troubleshooting forums.
No summoning circles.
Just your decks, delivered.